I am historically quite nervous about meeting people in real life that I first encounter online, especially fen. For all that online fandom is a fantastic way to bring people together around canon sources, internet communities have a marked tendency to be, without mincing words, full of weirdos.
I’ve witnessed it a whole bunch of times myself, most especially with a former friend who used to habitually have real-life meet-ups with other fen, almost all of whom were really unable to a) carry on much of a conversation at all and b) include anything non-fandom related in their conversational attempts.
I’m always reminded of a conversation from Metafandom a few years back (I’m not linking to the discussion specifically, so I don’t end up pointing fingers at specific fen) that began with the following:
Why does everyone call life away from the computer “real” life? (as in this)
What exactly do you think life is? Any time where you’re not dead? Is real life. What do you think the internet is, a big fantasy? Because if you don’t consider this “real”, then what is? All of the “fakeness” that people complain about online? You can find in a bar, in your house, with your friends, in a classroom, whatever. There is no difference. There never has been a difference. If you have life that’s not “real” life, then what are you doing with it?
Discuss.
Personally, I don’t completely agree or disagree here, and there were a lot of interesting responses that covered the spectrum. But there was one theme that showed up pretty commonly, and I will summarise it by quoting from one of the replies.
Oh, definitely! I was talking in chat with some folks one day and they were like, well, how do you interact with people offline, and I’m like uh, I don’t. And it’s not because I work at home. When I was at school or when I had an office job, I just didn’t talk to people any more than necessary. I read a book or did my own thing or whatever. My mom and me are complete opposites in that regard, as she is the type who will talk to anyone. Like she’ll be in line at the store or in the elevator and just start talking to people and I’m like omg don’t! I just…gah! Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable.
And the best, best, best thing about online interaction? No one telling you you should look people in the eye!
Here is where online communities make me sad, because to my mind, that reply is a sign of social anxiety issues that should be addressed in the non-computer-based world, not enabled by impersonal online interaction.
But I’m digressing from the point of this post.
The point of the post is that yesterday, I sucked up my own anxiety over meeting ‘internet people’ and went to a meet-up of a bunch of Supernatural fangirls.
And if you’re still reading through all this boring old text, here, I’ll give you a wee giftie of an image to enliven things and to give you a hint at one reason why we’re fannish over this show.
That would be the stars, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, and I’ll say no more about how they look at each other.
Aaaaanyway, despite my nervousness beforehand, I was enormously ENORMOUSLY pleased to spend the afternoon with this group of 20 fangirls who were delightful and clever and shameless in the best sort of way (vocal public discussion of gay porn was actually one of the tamer activities). And fully socially functional, which might not sound like much of a compliment, but I swear it is. There was talk about fandom and real-life (which, yes, I do mostly think of as being the non-computer activities) and the show on both giggly, squeeful and serious, thoughtful levels. We had drinks and ate and played games and exchanged little gifts, and it was a wonderful afternoon in wonderful company.
So thanks to those ladies for letting me mark a check into the Cool column of the ‘Online People I Have Met’ tally I keep in my head. It does me good to see that there are fun, engaging people out there behind the usernames. People who aren’t the stereotypical maladjusted internet addicts, who, let’s face it, do exist. Just not at our little gathering yesterday, for which I am grateful and happy.
